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How to reject losing propositions at work

An "either or" option is both a myth and a trap.

It's always your choice

You know what I'm talking about: "My way or the highway" directives that, no matter your seniority, make you feel like a naive kid, as opposed to that discerning leader people come to trust with their eyes closed.

You don't need extra time to ponder whether or not those two alternatives are good alternatives. Your sweaty hands have already told you: "This makes no sense. It's a hard no."

Still, you need extra time to come up with a third better option. After all, an "either or" solution is both a myth and a trap.

Even cornered boxers have plenty of options.

The shortest path for a black eye

Beginner boxers, when cornered by their sparring partner, trap themselves into a false dichotomy: "either I punch my way out, or I cocooned myself like a turtle."

I know this because I've been that newbie, more than once.

When facing a flurry of one-twos, with my back against the ropes, I have paid the price. I have tensed my muscles and rushed into either trading punches (which is something your sparring partner is prepared for), or closing my eyes and my guard (which is exactly what your sparring partner is looking for).

The surest path for having fun

But what my deliberate training and sparring partners have taught me is that even in the most pressing of situations, I have plenty of options to choose from. I can, for example:

Clinch my partner (aka hug my sparring partner in order to reset the fight)
Dodge the blows (aka move my head and not be a sitting duck)
Move laterally (aka run away!)
Take a punch (in order to deliver mine), or simply...
Call off the fight (or ask for a momentary breather)

Such array of tactics have allowed me to stay out of trouble, experience flow, and enjoy sparring rounds even more.

Back to office land

While facing a losing proposition at work, don't forget to:

Take your time: count to 10, ask for a day to think about it, say you need to check your calendar first, or a similar answer that could give you extra space to discern.
Stay calmed: this is the secret that unlocks everything else. You won't be able to reframe the losing proposition into a win-win alternative if you stay in a cloudy state of mind. Use your extra time to inhale, exhale, and disconnect from the problem at hand. Resume when you feel ready.
Discover what everyone wants: beyond that "my way or highway" proposition, look into what the proponent is trying to achieve. Ask: "what are you aiming for with this? What's the potential benefit? What's at stake? What are we trying to protect?
Explore other avenues: now with a better understanding of what's the outcome you're all looking for, ask: how might we achieve [that uncovered outcome]?
Offer a third better way: select the best alternative from previous step and share with the other person why this new angle address the problem better.
Proceed with that third better way.

It will always be your choice

More often than not, you can reject losing propositions this way. Sometimes though, the best option is to take that momentary loss. Just make sure you can be at peace with your decision, and you can move on.